This isn't about you.

I'm looking into my friends I have right now? I've had better, I've had worse. I don't know what to do with them. They don't talk to me, I mean they do but they don't. They say they care, but do i truely believe them when they say it? Not unless they actually back it up. Some of them make stupid choices, I won't get into that with anyone, its just to long and detailed.

I've actually falled back on hanging out with some of my cousins, which is okay, because honestly, they actually know me. We have fun, and they are trying to help me find new friends. Family, wow...I never actually knew they could be that nice.

So everyone has thier problems, and well some of my friends have the urge to make sure they eveyone knows about theres, and makes sure that EVERYONE care about it, and because of this they have become selfish. I have plenty of problems and still sit and ask my friends how they are, and if they are okay. So what if they don't give me an answer, I STILL ASK. Now I do have one friend who might actually ask me, and I know will actually listen to me, well not so much listen but read it...

Does anyone know that I have been clinically depressed for 5 years? Most of you probably don't unless your my sisters...my mom or dad...or someone who has asked. NOw why am I depressed, is where people can start to ask if i'm okay, if i'm alright...anything to stop me from thinking about starting old habits...and yes I've seriously started to think about it, you can tell my parents but they already know. I'm not as well put together as everyone thinks I am, I just can put up a realyl good barrier between how i feel and what i want people to see...but you can always tell, or you should be able to tell if your true friends.

In all of that I bet you just thought of yourself and not of how sad, or angry or hurt I am. Right?